Ways To Irritate a Telemarketer

When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'mso glad you asked because no one these days seems tocare, and I have all these problems; my arthritis isacting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, askthem to spell their name. Then ask them to spell thecompany name. Then ask them where it is located.Continue asking them personal questions or questionsabout their company for as long as necessary.Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judya few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure outwhere the hell she could know you from.If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Familyand Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed forbankruptcy and you could sure use some money.Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and askthem if they will give you their HOME phone number so youcan call them back. When the telemarketer explains that theycannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don'twant anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketerwill agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke."Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, becauseyou want to write down EVERY WORD.