Quotes

If Tyranny and Oppression Come to this Land, it Will be in the Guise of Fighting a Foreign Enemy.
-James Madison

There is No instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare.
--Sun Tsu

All wars are fought for money.
--Socrates

Terrorism is the war of the poor, and war is the terrorism of the rich.
--Sir Peter Ustinov

How can you make a war on terror, if war itself is terrorism?


"I did Not come to bring peace, But a sword
--Jesus (Matthew 10:34)

"War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength."
- George Orwell

Gun Control is not about guns, its about Control.

There are only 2 powers in the world...the sword of the oppressor & the spirit of the oppressed. In the long run, the sword is always defeated by the spirit."
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

One death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic.
-Joseph Stalin

The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do.
-Joseph Stalin

Ideas are more powerful than guns.
We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas.
-Joseph Stalin

Proper Saying

In English anyone who says Bethlehem and pronounces it "Beth-la-hem" is correct, - but since it is not an English word, it really doesn't matter. Take it from the people whose land it actually belongs to: the Jews. Even the Muslims pronounce it more similarly to the Jews than Christians do in English, since Arabic is similar to Hebrew. Anyway, it is Beit Lekhem.

Rose Facts

According to the Victorian "language of flowers", different colored roses each have their own symbolic meaning:
• Red: love
• Pink: grace, gentle feelings of love
• Dark Pink: gratitude
• Light Pink: admiration, sympathy
• White: innocence, purity, secrecy, friendship, reverence and humility.
• Yellow: Yellow roses generally mean dying love or platonic love. In German-speaking countries, however, they can mean jealousy and infidelity.
• Yellow with red tips: Friendship, falling in love
• Orange: passion
• Burgundy: beauty
• Blue: mystery
• Green: calm
• Black: slavish devotion (as a true black rose is impossible to produce)
• Purple: protection (paternal/maternal love)

Quotes
• In the driest whitest stretch of pain's infinite desert, I lost my sanity and found this rose. – Rumi
• What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet. – William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet act II, sc. ii
• O, my love's like a red, red rose – Robert Burns, A Red, Red Rose
• Hearts starve as well as bodies; give us bread, but give us roses. – James Oppenheim, "Bread and Roses"
• Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose – Gertrude Stein, Sacred Emily (1913), a poem included in Geography and Plays.
• Arise, arise, arouse, a rose!- Eh, a rosy nose? – Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D. (more commonly referred to as the 'Nowhere Man'), Yellow Submarine (film)

The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;



The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;



The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,



But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.



And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.



But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

1950s Slang Expressions

Slang expressions from the 1950's - many are still in use today:
actor - show-off
big daddy - older person
blast - good time
bread - money
cat - hip person
cloud 9 - really happy
Clyde - term of address for any normal male
cookin’ - doing very well
cool it - relax
cranked - excited
cream - badly damage
cut out - leave
dig - understand
dolly - real cute young girl
don’t have a cow - don’t get excited
flat out - fast as you can
flat-top - men’s hairstyle (flat on top crewcut)
flick - movie
fracture - to amuse
frosted - angry
going ape - getting really excited
hang out - do very little
heat - police
hip - cool, in the know
horn - telephone
kick - a fun thing, or a good thing
knuckle sandwich - fist in the face
kookie - nuts (in a nice way)
made in the shade - guaranteed success
make the scene - to attend
nerd - dorky person with brains
no sweat - no problem
odd ball - someone a little out of sync
on the stick - smart, prepared
pad - home
party pooper - no fun at all
rattle your cage - get you upset
shot down - failed
sing - tattle or inform on someone
split - leave
stacked - female with well proportioned figure
stack up - wreck a vehicle
threads - clothes
tight - close friends
total - completely destroy
unreal - exceptional

A Sweet Story

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.

I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?

Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy!

I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots.

It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream Oh Henry, Oh Henry!

Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.

She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff. I said, Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?

(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)

She screamed, Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers! as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup.

Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst!

Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.

Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!

Sex Facts

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches Average length when erect: 5.2 - 6.4 inches The Longest: 13 inches The Smallest: 5/8 of an inch Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale) Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200 Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000 Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7 Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60% Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54% Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41% Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks Average # of erections per day for a man: 11 Average # of erections during the night: 9 Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation) Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm Speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain 156 miles per hour There are approximately 5 calories in a teaspoon of semen. All penises bend slightly to the left or right — there is no perfectly straight penis. Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts and pumpkin pie! . Is Penis Size Important? Yes and No - it is only as important as you think it is. Most women surveyed say men are too hung up on penis size. As far as sexual stimulation penis width is more important than the length. . How Do I Measure My Penis? .After obtaining an erection angle your penis down until it is parallel to the floor. Set your ruler against your pubic bone just above the base of the penis, and measure to the tip. . Can Penis Size Be Increased? Penis pumps can temporarily increase the size of a penis. For permanent increase it requires a surgical procedure. Be warned surgery carries with it the risk of infection. Every year on March 15 Japan throws a giant festival to celebrate the penis and fertility. A 900-pound wooden phallus is paraded around the streets of the town Komaki, and women carry massive dildos in their arms. Thousands of people come to pay homage to the penis and take part in the festivities. . Do You Know Where Your Foreskin Is? In America hundreds of thousands of circumcised foreskins have been sold to bio-research laboratories. . A Weighty Issue! The Caramoja tribe of northern Uganda tie a weight on the end of their penises to elongate them - sometimes to such a degree that the men literally have to knot them up - while the Mambas of New Hebrides wrap theirs in yards and yards of cloth, making them look up to 17 inches long. . Double Your Pleasure! In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed. . Sue the Bastards! A honeymooning couple are suing Holiday Inn for ten thousand dollars, claiming their sex life is now dysfunctional because an employee mistakenly walked in on them on their wedding night. . The Royal Way! England's King Edward VII, a man of considerable heft, had a special table built so that he could comfortably engage in sexual intercourse. . The Ultimate Hello! When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands. . Not The Way To Go! At least 500 Americans die each year from asphyxia in an attempt to lessen oxygen flow to the brain in order to induce a more powerful orgasm. . A Fashion Statement! In fourteenth-century Europe, high-ranking noblemen were permitted to display their genitals below a short tunic, while those not impressively endowed could, if they chose, wear a leather falsie called a braquette. . Time On Your Side? Given today's average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take the typical American couple more than four years to try every one of the 529 positions described in the Kama Sutra.

~ Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
~ Average length when erect: 5.2 - 6.4 inches
~ The Longest: 13 inches
~ The Smallest: 5/8 of an inch
~ Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
~ Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
~ Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
~ Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
~ Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons
~ Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
~ Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
~ Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall
~ Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight
~ Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%
~ Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
~ Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
~ Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks
~ Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
~ Average # of erections during the night: 9
~ Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)
~ Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm
~ Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm
~ Speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain: 156 miles per hour
~ Calories in a teaspoon of semen: 5
~ Penis Bend: all penises bend slightly to the left or right.
~ Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts and pumpkin pie!

Funny Vids

A Literalist Christians Views

The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree... yeah, makes perfect sense.
-- Anonymous.

Peter Griffin: A Mosaic of Punctuation

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Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge

From the New York Times:

"On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election results. (...)

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity."

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family," said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding. Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11 attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association, the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We Are Family," which supports gay youth.

"The fact that some people may be upset with each other peoples' lifestyles, that is O.K.," Mr. Rodgers said. "We are just talking about respect."

Mark Barondess, the foundation's lawyer, said the critics "need medication.""

Reading this, I am reminded of an essay in a wonderfully funny book, The Pooh Perplex, in which an imaginary literary critic read all sorts of things into the works of AA Milne ("God bless Mummy! I know that's right/ Wasn't it fun in the bath tonight?") But that was a parody. When real live adults, in all seriousness, allege that Sponge-Bob Square Pants is a tool of the radical homosexual agenda, we have gone way past the line that separates mere eccentricity from lunacy. And as someone who has a deep respect for Christianity, albeit from the outside, I really, really wish its prominent spokespersons would stay on the right side of that line. This is a religion that counted among its adherents the likes of Saint Augustine and Dante, neither of them idiots; its adherents should treat it, and the intellects that (in their view) God gave them, with more respect.