The Simpsons Quotes

(lost in the corn maze)Lisa: Dad, why don't you throw me in the air and I can see which way is out? (he does) Corn. (again) More corn. (again) Another kid getting thrown in the air. (again) Witches' coven. (again) Seattle Space Needle. (again) Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You. (again) Oh, I'm getting dizzy. (again) And corn again.

Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!

Homer: There sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot.
Lisa: Dad, we're in the MAZE!

Farmer (making a wagon wheel): Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.

Microsoft Paper Clip: You look like you're trying to eat me. Need some help?

Declan Desmond: (to Homer and Marge) Are you two considering children?
Homer: Pfft. Kids? No way. You won't see a couple of rugrats tying me down.
(Cut to eight years later, Homer and Marge with baby Bart and Lisa)
Homer: You better not put this shot after the one where I said I won't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.

Young Homer: When I grow up, I'm gonna have a huge castle, a pinball machine with infinity quarters, eight pairs of peanut butter and jelly pajamas… how many wishes do I have left?Declan Desmond: None. You never had any. I'm not a genie.
Young Homer: D'oh!
Declan Desmond: Now Homer, your dreams will take a lot of money and, don't look at me, look at the camera.
Young Homer: Got it.
Declan Desmond: I said look at the camera.
(Homer looks down)
Declan Desmond: Now you're looking at a mud puddle.
(Homer looks at his left hand)
Declan Desmond: Now you're looking at your hand!
(Homer looks to the right.)
Declan Desmond: Now you're looking at the production company!
(Homer looks at his other hand)
Declan Desmond: That's your other hand! Do you even know what a camera is?
Young Homer: What! Of course I, um, no.
Declan Desmond: Ok, I'm going to put this squeaky toy on top of the camera.
(Homer's head goes up as the toy squeaks)
Young Homer: Oh! Squeaky! Squeaky! Squeaky squeaky squeaky!

Declan Desmond: I can't believe it! Homer Simpson! A bloody millionaire!
Homer: Why do you sound so surprised? This is our fifth take.

Mrs. Robinson Lyrics

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please Mrs. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey, hey, hey

We'd like to know a little bit about your for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Look around you all you see are sympathetic eyes,
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home.

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey, hey, hey

Hide in the hiding place where no one ever goes.
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes.
It's a little secret just the Robinsons' affair.
Most of all you've got to hide it from the kids.

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey, hey, hey

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon.
Going to the candidate's debate.
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Every way you look at this you lose.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio,
Our nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson.
Jotting Joe has left and gone away,
Hey hey hey.