Thursday, June 19, 2008

Can't Say I'm Loving Tasteless Marketing

Justin Timberlake, Destiny's Child, Artur Boruc and Felix Fritzl ...all these folk have something in common.

They are spokespeople for McDonald's.

The first three all got paid the Big Mac shilling, but Felix, the son of monster Josef, has emerged from the basement of an Austrian cellar and ran, blinking and rubbing, straight into Ronald McDonald.

For six years, Felix's idea of a Happy Meal was bread with his water in the dungeon his evil dad kept him.

Now he's giving free publicity to Maccy D's after he popped into a London branch and was said to be "thrilled" with his visit.

Felix may feel safe now he's out the dungeon, but McDonald's may need security guards soon.

England midfielder Joey Barton, who's on £60k-a-week, was jailed this week after punching a youth of 16 in the face outside aLiverpool branch.

This followed Joey consuming 10 pints of lager and five bottles of beer - the ideal starter if a Big Mac and fries is the main course.

His sentence is six months. If that's what takes him from following the start of Rangers' 2008-09 European campaign, it's worth it.

Celtic keeper Boruc has landed his deal to flog burgers in Poland, even though his countrymen may be flogging, or flipping, them here.

You might have thought fellow goalie Andy Goram was a more likely case.

Look out for Boruc wearing a God Bless Ronald McDonald T-shirt next Old Firm game.

But Ronald McDonald - the lovechild of Cilla Black and Stephen Pearson - sums up much of what's wrong with the operation.

McDonald's Corp aggressively targets kids. They do tie-ups with all the big Disney and Pixar films to lure in the High School Musical market. Six-year-old Felix Fritzl is their ideal audience.

Then they serve them saturated fats. You don't have to be Jamie Oliver to find their marketing tasteless.

As well as the food, there are other reasons to object.

They are as American as apple pie - and they do a pretty foul apple pie - which means imposing their idea of culture all around the world.

Those of us who have grown up with Scottish chippies know the over-salted cocktail sticks they call fries are a poor excuse for chips.

As for their sponsorship of football and the Olympics, that's like a school putting The Jeremy Kyle Show on its syllabus.

Wait for the 2012 London Olympics being forced into five onion rings as their logo.

The head honchos at McDonald's translated "I'm Loving It" into 20 different languages.

Strangely, there has been no demand to translate "Can I try the salad?" into as many languages.

Special Thanks to the Daily Record

1 comment:

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